effing hot. now tt’s what im living for.’
I thought you felt it too, when there was me and you” - HSM
“They say loving you gives pains and full of sacrifices But I’ll rather take pains and lots of sacrifices than not to be love[d] by you.” - love quotes by FBA.
why do i get such quotes,
when i was already (attempting to) let go?did you even in the first place?
when the rain is pouring outside,
when the song plays softly in the background of my room.it just reminds me of you.
superbly drawn to this song,
cuz’ again it reminds me of you,
for no reason,
but it does.
motionless night.
at this time of the night,
when the usual activities are deprived.
when songs no longer satisfy nor fulfill.
when songs become mundane, indifference holds.
when every love song reminds me of you,
the possible us,
the past we.
this time i can raise my head up high,
chest straight,
and proclaim,
that i’ve really tried.
i’ve never really tried.
maybe we’re just not meant to be,
or like you said,
its a matter of time tt the “yet” word appears.
for that i srsly pray and hope that the latter dominates the former.
i have these everyday fears,
ever so daunting,
ever so influential in my quest for wishes.
yet God saw me through the worst,
and picked me up whenever the worst of the worst might have happened if not for Him.
i’ve hated myself but not for long that greed and dissatisfaction controls me,
and justify that its a modern tendency among human to make myself feel better.
a friend once said she hated the change in herself,
and i guess i do too,
though again, greed and dissatisfaction has engulfed the hatred.
its pointless to ask why cuz’ it has already happened and will probably never change.
its a change beyond my personal control, isn’t it?
but yet, even if i were to sacrifice all the other material things,
and the common wishes that i refuse to sacrifice,
for this very big wish that i have,
to prove that i am a normal girl,
who will be able to complete life’s cycle,
or at least her definition of life cycle,
it hasn’t come.
with every passing day the stress and fear increases,
multiplied by at least twice seeing others around who have achieved her dream.
its not a complicated wish.
but yet she fears.
and i hope,
that really someday,
this wish and fear, will be like all her other childhood wishescumfear,
that when the time has come,
she will manage to overcome it somehow,
with God’s strength,
she believes.
this is an extract about me,
my feelings,
in a mixture of first and third person narration.
perhaps,
sometimes i see myself from the outside.
perhaps,
i just have to try harder,
to be good,
to get what i really want.
never knew how much a text reply could make me this happy.
guess its all part and parcel of l.o.v.e.
if all goes well,
i swear i’ll live well.
really well.
dear god, please.
